7/20/26
I recently did a podcast interview on KUNM’s new Sonic Spectrums show about BTSNM and my own mental health journey among other things. After the interview, I spent time self-reflecting. I realized I had been dealing with un-processed grief for a while now. The question, “How do you experience joy these days?” was asked. I struggled to find the words to answer but then spoke about how my work brings me joy. Which is true, however, it left me unsettled to know that in order for me to experience joy I must be working.
You see, the last quarter of 2025 started to usher in trauma, chaos, and confusion in my life. I lost some loved ones, got rear ended and my car was totaled in Nov. 2025. Emotionally overwhelmed was an understatement. Being in the mental health field, talking about these things daily & also attending therapy weekly, I thought I had everything in order. I’ve spent many nights crying over my losses, I’ve shared my feelings with loved ones, I thought most of it was dealt with. . . until that podcast interview.
I suppose over the course of these past 7+ months, the weight of it all had still been lingering.
I’m a highly functioning manic-depressive. I go about my day-to-day life as if I am unbothered, still meeting deadlines, answering calls/emails. However, the unkept house and home office tell another story. After this podcast, something shifted in me. I didn’t want to be in grief anymore. I am finally ready to move on. It’s not about forgetting my loved ones. For me, it’s choosing to focus on all the loving, and happy moments I got to have with them. Sharing gratitude to the universe/higher power for bringing them into my life, for however long it was. I personally believe in the afterlife and in energy, so for me, knowing that they are at peace and still around just in a different form brings me some tranquility.
Making peace with the pieces.
I believe what helped was talking about some of my struggles on the podcast; changing up the environment and who I’m conversing with as well. I had trouble answering what joy looks like or how it shows up in my life these days, but now I will be more intentional at experiencing and creating joy.
Now the question is what does that journey to joy entail?
– Abe Valdez, Marketing Manager
Resources:
The Grief Center https://griefnm.org/services/
